Asian wedding invitation wording in English: samples for UK families

The British Asian wedding invitation has to be two documents at once. For the parents' generation it is a formal announcement: who is inviting, whose son, whose daughter, with the honour and the pleasure in the right places. For the couple's friends it is a schedule: three or four functions across a week, at venues from a home in Sparkhill to a banqueting hall off the M6, and a set of unspoken rules about dress, gifts and children that the friends have no way of knowing. Good wording serves both without apologising to either.

The samples below are for Pakistani, Indian and Bangladeshi weddings in the UK. Change the function names to yours: Mehndi or Sangeet, Nikah or the ceremony, Baraat, Walima or reception. Square brackets are yours to fill. On a digital card the dates, venues and maps are separate fields, so the wording below is the greeting and the notes, not the timetable.

The lines a British card needs that a Pakistani card does not

• A dress-code line. 'Traditional or formal wear' tells a colleague not to turn up in a suit to the Mehndi.
• A gifts line, because the question will be asked. 'Your presence is the only gift we ask for' or the common British phrasing 'no boxed gifts, please'.
• A children line. In Pakistan children come; in Britain some venues and some couples prefer otherwise. Say which, kindly.
• A realistic timing line. 'Baraat arrives at 6 pm; dinner is served at 8 pm' is honest and stops guests arriving hungry at six.
• A reply line with a date and a way to reply. On a Dawatnama card that is one tap.
• Parking and station. UK venues are chosen by the car park as much as the hall.

1. The formal card, parents hosting, every function

Mr and Mrs Zahid Mahmood request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their son Hamza to Ayesha, daughter of Mr and Mrs Shahid Rafiq. Mehndi: Thursday 9 April, 7 pm, [address]. Nikah: Saturday 11 April, 1 pm, [Masjid name], followed by lunch. Walima: Sunday 12 April, 6:30 pm, [banqueting suite]. Traditional dress. We would be grateful for your reply by 20 March.

2. From the bride's parents, the Baraat and the Rukhsati

With great joy, Mr and Mrs Shahid Rafiq invite you to celebrate the marriage of their daughter Ayesha to Hamza, son of Mr and Mrs Zahid Mahmood, on Saturday 11 April at [venue], [address]. The Baraat arrives at 6 pm and dinner will be served at 8 pm. Your presence and your prayers for the couple are the only gifts we ask for.

3. From the couple, warm and plain

We are getting married and we want you there. Hamza and Ayesha invite you to our wedding over the weekend of 11 and 12 April: the Nikah on the Saturday afternoon, the Walima on the Sunday evening, and a Mehndi for the brave on the Thursday before. Every detail, map and timing is on this card. With the love and duas of our parents.

4. The Walima only, from the groom's side

Mr and Mrs Zahid Mahmood request the pleasure of your company at the Walima reception of their son Hamza and his wife Ayesha on Sunday 12 April at 6:30 pm at [banqueting suite], [address]. Dinner at 8 pm. Formal or traditional dress. More Walima wording, including Urdu, is on the Walima card page and in Walima card wording.

5. A mixed-heritage or interfaith guest list

Hamza and Ayesha, together with their families, invite you to celebrate their marriage. The Nikah, the Islamic marriage ceremony, is short and will be held at 1 pm on Saturday 11 April at [Masjid name]; guests of all faiths are warmly welcome, and ladies are kindly asked to bring a scarf for the prayer hall. The celebration continues at [venue] from 6:30 pm on Sunday 12 April with dinner, music and, we hope, dancing. The meal is halal and the evening is alcohol-free.

6. Adults only, said gently

Please join us for the Walima of Hamza and Ayesha on Sunday 12 April at 6:30 pm at [venue]. Much as we love the little ones, the evening reception is for guests aged twelve and over; we hope this gives you a rare night out. Children are very welcome at the Nikah lunch on the Saturday.

7. A home Mehndi

Come and get your hands painted. Ayesha's Mehndi is at home on Thursday 9 April from 7 pm, [address]: dholki, songs and far too much food. Yellow, green or anything bright. Ladies only, please, and street parking on [road]. Ideas for the Mehndi card itself, colours, music and all, are in Mehndi invitation card ideas.

8. The WhatsApp message that carries the link

Salaam! Hamza and Ayesha are getting married on 11 and 12 April and we would love you to be there. The invitation, with every function, map and a reply button, is here: [link]. Please reply on the card by 20 March so we can give the caterer a number. With love, the Mahmood and Rafiq families.

Getting the honorifics right

'Request the honour of your presence' is the traditional line for a ceremony; 'request the pleasure of your company' is for a reception. Both are correct, and British Asian families use them interchangeably without anyone minding. Where the bride's parents host, name them first. Where both families host jointly, name both and use 'their children'. If a parent has passed away, 'the late Mr Rafiq' is the usual form. Fathers' names after the couple's names are a Pakistani convention worth keeping for the elders; the friends will simply not notice.

Urdu, English, or both

Most UK families end up with both: formal Urdu for the grandparents and the lines above for everybody else. On a Dawatnama card the labels switch between English and Urdu with one button and your own greeting can be typed in either, so you do not have to choose. The Urdu and Roman Urdu wording for every function is collected in shadi card matter in English and on the function pages. For the ceremony alone there are ten more samples in Nikah invitation wording in English, and if half your guests are in Pakistan, inviting guests across the UK and Pakistan is the practical guide. Families in the UK pay in pounds on the UK page.